DMV RADIO

Transcript

Arthur: Welcome to DMV Radio, a Brainy Records parody station broadcasting live from the eternal waiting room.

Brenda: We must declare that this is an affectionate satire of bureaucracy and not an official government source, so please do not ask us for forms.

Arthur: I am your calm host Arthur, and I have been sitting in this plastic chair since the late twentieth century.

Brenda: And I am Brenda, here to provide smooth jazz vibes for your soul while we stare at the digital counter.

Arthur: The tension is palpable as we wait for them to call ticket letter Q, dash, blue.

Brenda: Now serving ticket letter Q, dash, red, at the window with the broken blinds.

Arthur: So close, Brenda, maybe in another era they will finally call our specific hue of ticket.

Brenda: To pass the time, let us review the Form of the Day, which is just us reading the news.

Arthur: According to NTV, a new government service allows you to take your own driver's licence photo.

Brenda: Starting today, you will no longer have to go to motor vehicle registration to renew your driver's license photo.

Arthur: This is a tragedy for those who enjoy the unflattering fluorescent lighting of the registration office.

Brenda: How will citizens achieve that classic startled deer look without a tired clerk yelling at them to stop blinking?

Arthur: I plan to recreate the experience by having my neighbor shout at me while I hold a flashlight.

Brenda: Speaking of office changes, KHON2 reports that Kaua'i drivers in need of assistance with their licenses will have some relief.

Arthur: This federal and local relief comes amidst Hurricane Nolo concerns for drivers impacted by a closed DMV.

Brenda: A closed motor vehicles office sounds like a deeply unsettling philosophical paradox to me.

Arthur: If the doors are locked, how do the citizens know which incorrect line they are supposed to stand in?

Brenda: Let us smoothly transition to traffic rules, where MSN reports that California enacted a measure called Braun's Law.

Arthur: The governor signed this law to crack down on repeat DUI offenders, closing legal loopholes.

Brenda: This ensures drunk drivers who kill face murder charges.

Arthur: MSN also notes that the governor signed four new California DUI laws in total.

Brenda: A CalMatters investigation found the state has some of the weakest DUI laws in the nation, and advocates want more next session.

Arthur: It is good to see the rules of the road getting tighter.

Brenda: We respect the rules, because violating traffic laws means more paperwork, and we hold paperwork in the highest regard.

Arthur: Oh my goodness, the digital board is flashing! They are finally calling ticket letter Q, dash, blue!

Brenda: It is a miracle, Arthur, our time has finally come to approach the counter.

Arthur: Before we go fill out a stack of forms, we have a quick reminder.

Brenda: Our fellow patient listeners can easily create their own radio station.

Arthur: You can make a parody broadcast about absolutely anything you want over at Brainy Records.

Brenda: Grab a ticket, have a seat, and start broadcasting your very own smooth jazz.